Surprised that dads too have breastfeeding related questions? What role could they play here? This is such a misconception, correct?. But here you are; a new dad or a soon-to-be one. Birth is done - you could not do much beyond being there( trust us that too was incredible and you won’t want to swap places for anything) .Â
Now, the next hurdle is a big one - breastfeeding the baby. You are wondering how it will be - some of you will read, some attend classes and some intend to learn on the job. Needless to say, you are a dad and everything is as real as it can be. While there is not much you can do to modify this act or change it, there is enough to be done to provide some relief to your partner through it. As a dad, your role is to offer continuous emotional and physical care to your partner and baby.
As we celebrate Breastfeeding Week from August 1st to August 7th, it's heartwarming to hear stories from new moms about how their partners have been there for them. And, these stories are just reminders of why you are in a relationship - to be there for each other and now for the new life you’ve created.Â
1. I am useless when it comes to breastfeeding. What can I do about this?
It’s a natural process, so why should I learn anything about it? This is the most common question you will have as a new dad; since you cannot physically do anything when it comes to breastfeeding. But that was the talk of the past.Â
If you are a soon-to-be or new dad, you have access to multiple resources; doctors, lactation consultants, breastfeeding classes, the internet etc to find your cheat sheet guide on how to be supportive. While breastfeeding might be innate it is not easy, especially for a first time mother. Breastfeeding is a learned skill which requires patience and is often frustrating. And while you are nourishing this fragile love of your life, it in fact is a very lonely activity. So dads here’s what you should do:
- Attend a breastfeeding class together before the birth to understand the process and importance of breastfeeding.
- Know while it’s wonderful to exclusively breastfeed, it may not always go as per plan and support the move to formula if needed
- Let the mom know she is not alone in this journey. Emotional support will go a long way in helping your wife overcome her fear and initial struggles.
"It was the small things he did, like sitting with me in silence while I breastfed, giving me company and moral support." Shevantika, mom to a 6-month old baby
2. What tasks can I actually take up besides giving moral support?
Aplenty! Breastfeeding actually drains the mother physically and emotionally but there is so much you can do to help out. Some dad tasks that you could take on are:
- Take care of burping duties after each feed, as it is essential but time-consuming.
- Keep the Dad’s cheat sheet handy which shows the different burping positions.
- If she is pumping, handle the cleaning and sterilizing of the pump equipment.
- Keep her favorite snacks available, as breastfeeding can make a mom hungry.
- Shield her from unnecessary visits and advice, as unsolicited recommendations can cause fatigue and self-doubt.
- Always keep a water bottle within reach while your partner breastfeeds.
- Arrange pillows to ensure comfort for both mom and baby during breastfeeding sessions.
"He protected me from unsolicited advice, making sure I received constructive help with breastfeeding instead." Rashmila, mother to a 5-month old baby
3. The baby isn’t latching on? Why is the baby losing weight? What are we doing wrong?
The first week is a challenge for many breastfeeding mothers. It’s physically exhausting, mentally challenging and also very uncomfortable. Mothers have a lot of doubt and fears when it comes to breastfeeding, and you need to actually know what is right and wrong to be able to help. Some things dads could do are,
- Be present during the birth and latching to learn from healthcare professionals, such as to be able to help your partner once you're back home.
- Play a key role in their partner’s confidence by showering them with compliments, encouragement and sometimes just be a sounding board.
- Know when to consult a professional lactation consultant if the challenge is becoming too great
- Be in touch with paediatrician and lactation consultants who can provide tips and tricks to handle questions and aid the mother with suggestions to resolve them.Â
Dads, your active presence and support mean the world to your partner during this intimate bonding time with the baby. No one is born with the knowledge to be a parent. They both learn to embrace their new roles and work as a team because a child needs both parents to care and nurture him/her. We are delighted to see dads, such as you, embracing your new roles to the best of your ability. Remember, being available and empathetic can make a significant difference in a mom’s breastfeeding journey and overall well-being.
If you are a soon-to-be dad, attend such classes and use these tips as your first step to be an involved father. And, lastly, this last comment even had us laughing away…
"My husband said he was jealous he couldn't breastfeed our baby!" Juhi, mom to a 9 year old girl